i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
