Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
