Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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