I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im holly from the hills drunk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
