I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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