return my video game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
