your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
