Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
