He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
