What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were trust falling into bushes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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