we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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