i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
