then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
