he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
