The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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