she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize