Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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