why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize