Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ttyl tear gas
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
