He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
