Walk of Shame. In a state park.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
