ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
