Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
