This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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