You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
