I'm pants shitting drunk right now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
