As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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