it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
