So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
