you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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