The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There's even glitter on my cock...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
