I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
