The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
