you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
