Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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