her vagine was all disorganized.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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