so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
