I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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