The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
