she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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