I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
