He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
