Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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