I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
