Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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