I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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