I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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