you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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