In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
