these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ttyl tear gas
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
