The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
