i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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