My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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