Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
