grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize