My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
