Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize