And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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