I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
