My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
