My hand turned me down
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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