WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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