it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
