buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
