i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
