I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
