we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Vodka?
Forever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
