And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
