I seem to have left my pride at pride
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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