i would punch a child for taco bell
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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