Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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