you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize