I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am midnight drunk by noon
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
