Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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