Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We are all done wearing pants today
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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