you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
