also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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