we have officially lost it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
