Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
